Ill start:
“Me cago en tus muertos” - ill shit all over your dead relatives. Spanish.
Teletubbyzurückwinker.
Someone that waves back at the Teletubbies.
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Mieren neuker
I also quite like the word ‘droeftoeter’, meaning a sad/depressing person. The closest thing would be the word ‘loser’ in English.
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‘Sad trombone’ would be an apt translation, as the sound of refers to is exactly like the meaning of the insult.
Bravo! A perfect write-up. You’re making us proud.
Heya. I’m an American, and I’ve got to say thank you. I seriously look forward to calling someone a “ball violin” in English, but if fully intend to add klootviool and and klootzak to my day to day swear bank. Those are so satisfying to say!
Just don’t forget that the “oo” is pronounced as the “oh” in “oh shit” and not like the “oo” in “cool” or “mood”. Same for the “a” in “zak”. It’s closer to “ahhh” as in “oooohh and ahhh” or “pasta” than it is to the “a” in “back”
Nice overview! I do not have any proof of this, but I think “Godverdomme”, which is still very common, is a bit unique because rather that God damning it or -you, it translates to God Damn Me.
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If you want to say that you don’t care about something (as in: “I don’t give a fuck”), in Serbian you would say: “My dick hurts”. And that’s an expression you’ll hear almost daily. A less used variant of that, but still legit is: “My balls are beeping”.
While not insulting, I’ll throw in our way to say: “I’m/You’re fucked”. It’s: “Jebao sam/si ježa u leđa”, which means: “I/You fucked a hedgehog in the back”
Not really an insult but:
“Hänellä ei taida olla kaikki muumit laaksossa”
“They don’t seem to have all moomin in the valley”When someone is talking crazy, etc
“Enculeur de poules mortes” which basically means dead chicken fucker. It’s translatable but sounds so much better in french.
Something about how fancy French sounds, juxtaposed with how vulgar the insult is, that makes it stick.
Like a guy in a tuxedo, but with his junk out
In English it’s more like a guy at Walmart in sweatpants with his junk out; not that shocking
I knew about “enculeurs de mouches”, or fly fucker, that is said about a person that is way too picky about useless details
In Dutch that would be called an ant fucker (mierenneuker)
A few years ago, when #MeToo was a big thing, I took a photo of an ant, and slapped the text #MierToo, specifically to mock and send to mierrenneukers
I have never heard this in my life. Where are you from?
Probably Quebec or Montreal.
Eww, gross.
spoiler
Just kidding y’all :)
Heard one: Your mother has a penis and your father is jealous of it.
كول هوا
“Kawl hawa”
Literally “eat air” in Arabic
Means shut up
Oh that is fantastic. I need to use that one.
That’s hilarious
Salame
Yes that’s right, it means salami and in spanish it’s used to call someone an idiot. Soft insult, but I use it, and saying so and so is a salami in english would only get me weird looks.
English has https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gammon_(insult)
Seems to be used in Argentina, Paraguay and Uruguay. Being from Spain, I’ve never heard Salami being used as an insult.
“Κλάσε μου τα αρχίδια” which literally stands for “fart my balls” in Greek.
It’s a way of telling someone to go fuck himself.
Which can also be lovely further embellished such as “πάρε φορά και κλάσε μου τ’αρχιδια” (“take momentum and fart my testicles”) or “θα μου κλάσεις μια μάντρα αρχίδια” (“You’ll fart me a yard of testicles”, usually utilized as a defiant answer to a physical threat)
My favorite has to be zkundyksicht, it comes from “z kundy ksicht” which literally means “a face [that came] from a cunt”. “Z” = from, “kunda” = cunt, “ksicht” = a rude way to say face.
Oh my god cuntface is my new favourite insult. Thank you for this!
Glad I could be of service!
Triangeljosti.
The Jostiband is a Dutch orchestra for people with a developmental disability, mainly people with down syndrome.
A [triangle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangle_(musical_instrument\)) , or triangel in Dutch, is possibly the simplest instrument you can think of.
So calling someone a ‘triangeljosti’ is basically comparing them to someone who plays the simplest possible instrument in a band for developmentally disabled people.
That’s so specific. lmao
This reminds me of the not-very-edifying-at-all moment when “joey” became a universal term of abuse in UK playgrounds.
I’m wheezing. Never heard it before but the image is livid in my head.
That just sounds like ableism
Well, yeah, it’s an insult so it’s not exactly meant to be flattering for either the insulted party or the person they are being compared to.
I mean, OP asked for insults. You should be prepared to see some you don’t like (which is the point of an insult after all).
Never heard that one being used, though.
It’s not super common but I do hear it on occasion.
In Quebec French, people sometimes say of someone who’s not particularly bright:
“His mom rocked him/her too close to the wall.”
It’s just so… vivid and random.
Oh cool, we have a very similar one in German: “His/her swing stood too close to the wall.”
A strong insult in french would be to tell that someone has been “fini à la pisse”.
I don’t know how to translate that but it would means that their dad did not have enough sperm so he used urine to conceive them.
“Spargeltarzan”, which is German for “asparagus Tarzan”. Basically someone who is physically weak, but tall and lanky.
I also like “Lauch”, which just translates to “leek”, the veggie. Oh, and “Bohnenstange”, which means bean stalk. We do seem to have quite a few vegetable-related insults in German, now that I think of it…
Portuguese is full of these, but how about vai pra casa do caralho.
Which roughly translates to “go to the dick’s home”, basically another way of saying “go fuck yourself”, but even more vulgar somehow.
Portuguese here. “Diz que vais cagar e baza”, which translates to “Say you go shit and get outa here”, when someone is not welcome.
Brazil “eu caguei e andei” (I shat and walked). Functionally equivalent to “I don’t give a shit” but in Portuguese one actually shits but doesn’t care to wipe and walks away or walks at the same as is shitting.
Oh, another one: “deves comer gelados com a testa”, which translates to “you must eat icecream with your forehead”, a not so soft way to call someone stoopid
I’ve heard ‘caralho’ used to be the name for the lookout on top of a ship’s mast (later turned into yet another word for dick) and sailors were sent to duty on the caralho as punishment?
I’m not Portuguese though, so if any native could confirm …
German: “Dich soll der Blitz beim Scheißen treffen” - Lightning shall strike you while you’re taking a shit
Best insult ever, imo.
