fracture [he/him]

i think this one starts with you

one half of the equation is to be comfortable and firm in your boundaries. if someone asks something of you that you’re not comfortable with, don’t do it. say you’re not comfortable. if they insist, or say it’s normal, decline again and leave the interaction

this is the bread and butter of navigating these encounters. if you’re not comfortable with this, try to practice with a mirror, a trusted friend, or a therapist

the other half of the equation is to get in touch with your own feelings and emotions. the best way we understand others is by understanding ourselves. take some time to practice mindfulness meditation and spend that time listening to and observing how you feel. as you practice more, this skill will come more naturally to you in day to day interactions. soon, you’ll be able to tell when people are being fake or manipulative by understanding how you feel in relation to it

you may think this won’t help you understand others, but humans are wired with very good mirror neurons which are very perceptive of how others are feeling. when you understand how something feels for you, you will understand how it feels for someone else, and you’ll be able to notice more subtle things like a missing emotion - for example, a lack of joy when feigning interest in something you’re interested in

both of these take some time and dedication to develop, but i think it will help you with your problem

an additional skill you will probably want to pick up is breathing practice. check out 4-7-8 breathing (the first number is the count for inhaling, the second is for holding, the third is for exhaling; so breathe for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8; if this is too hard, you can try 4-4-4). this is to help keep you calm when asserting boundaries or remaining patient with your feelings during meditation

these are not totally serious thoughts, altho they reflect my kind of feelings about it

but IP should be periodically put to a vote, maybe a year or two after a major release, in which the public decides if they should retain ownership of the IP

if not? it’s released into public domain. obviously the original company / creator can still do something with it, but others can, as well. but if they do a good job keeping people happy with it, they can keep it

obviously this has some problems, mostly about constantly polling people and probably only dealing with IP that’s popular enough

but the idea gives me some deep satisfaction after seeing some companies ruin their IP, and i like the idea of consumers having some power to punish them for being shitty lol

i’ve never met someone else who Gets It like this guy does.

this take in the article was really funny

My guess at the real reason for all this grave dancing is that it feels like a victory over FOMO. If the new $40 game sucks and no one is playing it, I can safely go back to whatever I was playing before without worrying that anyone’s having fun without me.

i don’t know what most people’s reasons for deriving enjoyment from concord’s failure are, but there’s no way FOMO cracks the top 3 lmao

seeing the trailer, i definitely thought it was a bandwagon hero shooter that might have had some creativity if a bunch of suits didn’t say “make it GotG”, but realistically, it launched with little fanfare, in competition with valve’s first new game (beta) in ages. not that it was fated to fail but it didn’t have a lot going for it

yeah that was more a comment on the State Of Things than your experience or assumptions. women are classically neglected in healthcare, especially when it comes to their pain 🫠

ahaha you’re assuming quite a lot of things here 💀

it’s an interesting article, but i think the authors are conflating friction for wanting genuine human interaction; its easier than ever for me to make friends because i can instantly connect with and message back and forth, quickly and in real time, over various platforms e.g. discord, the depth of which is only limited by our interactions and how we treat them. forcing us back to sms/email/paper mail doesn’t make our interactions deeper, even though it adds friction. it means we can easily choose what the depth of connection we want is

that isn’t to say that there aren’t examples where less friction leads to less interaction. dating apps are a great example. but i think the authors are conflating the friction for the interaction. yes, you could add friction that would encourage interaction, but you could also add friction that doesn’t. i think the more salient point would be, encouraging interaction often includes friction, but one shouldn’t shy away from that, as a UI/UX developer

which, granted, isn’t as catchy of a title. but they could have gone into greater detail for that in the article, too

regardless of this critique, i enjoyed reading it and the perspective it offered, even if i don’t strictly agree

really good. IUD insertion wasn’t too bad for me, but i def would have still taken a local anesthetic for it if it had been available. this is also probably huge for people with sexual trauma and stuff

can they just please make a lower budget game for the sake of branching out instead of pushing millions into a game expecting it to explode in sales? no? too much to ask? ok…

fwiw you’ve conveyed the same general question i have about the situation, albeit far more eloquently than i would have been able to

i am totally down to stop using words that disabled people find offensive, but i need alternatives to express that someone is being needlessly / purposely ignorant or otherwise harmful and is generally worthy of scorn and contempt

which isn’t to say that providing that is the onus on disabled people (it’s really not, their only real obligation is to express their experiences)… but it does make it a lot easier to action on the request

it’s also kind of interesting to approach this conversation both as an outsider, but also as someone who these words do apply to in some capacity

interesting to consider that third places can be virtual in this day and age. i wonder how they compare in terms of healthiness… probably better than not having a third place but worse than an in person one, if i had to guess

hate speech (of which nazi speech is a subset of) isn’t political either. it definitely should be banned because it demonstrably causes people to get hurt

insane stance to be advocating that nazis should have free speech in 2024

fundamentalism is a coping mechanism for a deregulated nervous system

… YEAH. YEAH THAT. THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY

(i’ve been thinking about this a lot and never could quite put it into words this eloquently)

thanks for sharing this information with us, i think it’s important to discuss this stuff on the fediverse

i notice that beehaw doesn’t have a similar clause in its TOS, as far as i can tell. without the expectation of you answering this question, i’m wondering what the difference is between the two such that cohost has such a clause and beehaw doesn’t. maybe it’s because one is run by an individual and one is run by a small company?

i did a search on cohost itself to see if anyone else talked about this and found this quite extensive thread: https://twitter.com/rahaeli/status/1588769277053739010

so based on what you’ve said and what’s in that thread, i’m gonna update my post with some qualifications about cohost. thanks for piqing my interest in the TOS

is there a way they could protect themselves (“still legally be able to function”) without that clause?

it’s not federated or open, but cohost is a tumblr-alternative run by a group of queer devs who promise not to sell the company or your data. i don’t blame you if you don’t buy into it, but i do like the platform

https://cohost.org/rc/welcome

edit: based on what /u/FaceDeer@kbin.social has mentioned about the TOS, as well as further elaboration i found in a thread about it (https://twitter.com/rahaeli/status/1588769277053739010), i don’t think i can responsibly advocate for cohost, even as a closed/private alternative to tumblr

i really wish you hadn’t been so rude in your response. but i understand that neurofeedback is seen with some skepticism. i don’t really understand it, because it’s not that hard to verify that it’s effective (for both ADHD and PTSD, among other things; the links below pertain to PTSD):

• https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0166752
• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/20008066.2023.2257435
• https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10484-015-9326-5

although one does need to dig through research articles for this sort of thing, which is why it took me so long to dig these up (after… two weeks… on a post you replied to after it was two weeks old…) (also idk why getting these to format nicely is so hard, this is the best i can do at 5am)

also, this is treatment i would not recommend if i hadn’t done it myself. and while my trauma responses aren’t the same as what was mentioned in the greentext, there are several responses that were ingrained at what i think is an equally deep level; responses i thought i would have to deal with until i died, before i started neurofeedback

the treatment of trauma is complex and multifaced; i would not recommend only getting neurofeedback treatment (you may be interested in learning that therapy is mandatory at my neurofeedback clinic). however, it is incredibly effective at treating these sort of unconscious response patterns which are highly emotional and unreceptive to therapy or psychiatric medication

please do not take this post as dismissing the effectiveness of therapy or psychiatric medication. i am a big proponent of all of these approaches. they all have their place in addressing various aspects of trauma, and it saddens me when proponents of one talk down on the others

oh you’re right yeah, lmao, my b. i’ll edit, ty

ah, i see. i’m sorry that school is so rough for you

how long do you have left? what are your goals after school? before you can plan what actions you want to take, you should figure out a tentative plan for the future so you know what you’re working towards. i would recommend enlisting the aid of a trusted adult for this

i’m unfamiliar with the french system of education; is it possible to drop out and take a certification that is equivalent of graduating? (generally, in the US, this would be frowned upon, but would be worth it if the situation is as bad as you’re describing, i think)

all that said, you likely can coast and do minimal work and at least graduate. if you’re being harassed by someone, you should report them / tell them to stop / basically go out of your way to avoid them, or cause problems that are clearly their fault (although that can be difficult). it may also be worth talking to said trusted adult about this issue

teachers being vapid is pretty much out of your control, but just because they’re vapid doesn’t mean the material is. if you take an interest in learning things for the sake of learning, and digging beyond what they give you in school, you can at least attain valuable knowledge about the various subjects of your classes

this is part of what i learned in school myself; even though you’re forced to be in school, you’re the only one responsible for if you learn something or not. so learn the ways you are able to and get what you can out of the environment. maybe french high school is super difficult, but you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. you should be able to learn stuff well enough to pass

still practice the breathing, exercising, etc that i mentioned, though. this:

And right now, I’m so fed up this existence of student, trapped in the petulent academic system that I can even focus anymore. I can’t think, I can’t write, I can’t remember.

sounds like you losing your executive functioning to stress. your anger at the situation is valid, but you need your brain to be online to cope with it and get out. take a step back, breathe in, hold. release as slowly as you can. repeat

try to notice when you’re spiraling with emotion, try to remember to breathe when you are. it’s hard at first but over time you’ll notice it quicker and be able to respond in the moment

you’ll make it out one day. just focus on getting there

me walking in: oh cool, a mythology thing. i bet it’s just for straight people tho

the article:

Apart from the Old Man Under the Moon, another divine matchmaker in Chinese mythology is the Rabbit God, who has been worshiped as far back as the 18th century as a god of love between men.

ay yo??

(sorry for lesbians tho)