The simple virtue of being able to genuinely express these words; “I don’t know”, “Sorry” and “Thank you” (or any derivative of these*).
Being able to admit a mistake is huge, being able to genuinely apologize without some cop-out disclaimer is even better.
If a person carries their trash with them until they stumble upon a trash bin they instantly have a plus in my book.
They treat service people well.
Only kicks upwards, not downwards. Has a backbone and principles. Doesn’t value money over meaning. Likes to teach people instead of putting oneself over them.
Uses vim?
Kindness and looking out for others even when they don’t have to.
Kindness to animals. Just all animals, generally
Same, but that means not eating animals unnecessarily too.
I mean, I’d say that knowing not to overeat is probably a good thing, but I’m guessing you mean it from a vegan/vegetarian context, and I’m just gonna say No. No it does not mean that. In fact, veganism is something of a yellow flag for me. I’ve known vegans who were good people, but I’ve known a disproportionate amount who were insufferable, self-righteous pricks. I recognize there is a bias there in that there are probably vegans I met whose dietary lifestyle I’ve never known about, but that’s already besides the point. Veganism is not a green flag
And if you didn’t meant that, then I really am curious as to what you meant by “unnecessarily”
Why would veganism be a yellow flag?
Veganism is caring for the well being of animals… Veganism is definitely a green flag. Being insufferable is a red flag.
It seems to me you are the one being insufferable. Just because you are not vegan and like eating aninals, you see those who do otherwise as insufferable and self righteous picks and even see veganism as a yellow flag.
PS. I am not vegan.
No, I see vegans who think they’re better than everyone else by virtue of their veganism as insufferable. I’ve no issue with vegans who keep to themselves I would welcome a world of impossible meat should we get to that point and encourage a switch to more sustainable diets as allowed by our infrastructure, but we’re simply not there
Vegans are a yellow flag to me because most of the times, when someone comes up to me unprompted to talk about how eating animals is bad, they’re assholes about it. I was approached here, unprompted, in my comment about liking animals in a post about green flags. If their veganism comes up when I offer food and they just say they don’t eat that, that’s no problem. That’s why it’s a yellow flag. Veganism isn’t bad, it just has a bunch of annoying pricks in it that make 'em all look bad
So yeah, just to be clear, I do not oppose veganism. Veganism is a yellow flag because very often they bring it up out of the blue just to get on their high horse
Veganism sucks because it’s libshit, consumer-side choices which don’t meaningfully impact the world but if you point that point up they freak out because of all the personal sacrifices they made have just been invalidated. They also have a tendency to scream down indigenous people for eating their traditional diets which is just another case of white people thinking they’re more moral than everyone else even though all they are is guilty as fuck for upholding systems of oppression.
Case in point, how many vegens have you seen pressuring their government to stop meat subsidies? Zero. It would have severe impacts on meat consumption but they’re never going to do it because the point was never to make change, only to wash their hands of moral guilt.
Not all vegans are white people, which is very important because there are indigenous people who are vegan, Latinamerican, African and from many other places of origin, and many other non-white people who are vegan.
It looks like you haven’t even researched about this, since many vegans in Europe have been protesting and asking to end meat and dairy subsidies.
Please research before spreading hate towards a philosophy you don’t know anything about.
You can always tell an offended white person, but you can’t tell them much.
Agree for sure, but in the spirit of fairness, I suppose I should clarify that when I say “vegan” I’m specifically referring to exactly the kind of person you mentioned. Though I don’t know any, I’m sure there must be vegan organizations out there that DO push for systemic change, and that they remain largely unseen by non-vegans because they don’t make it anyone else’s problem. This goes for any vegan. You only know about the ones who are loud about it. I mentioned my bias in the comment, and I just wanna make sure it’s pointed out because I’ve had to clarify, like, 30 times already 😅
But yeah, I’m with you on this. veganism gets used so much simply for moral grandstanding without the chance for any counter examples that any time someone mentions they’re vegan, unless it’s in some explicit context, I have to brace myself for dealing with someone who acts like they’re the pinnacle of morality
My take is simply: why eat animals if I don’t have to? I honestly just think about animals being caged their entire lives for the sole purpose of “bacon tho.”
All the noise about “insufferable vegans,” “I’m offended because a vegan told me to not eat a hamburger,” is just that—noise. I can’t speak for the animals but if it were my livelihood on the line, I wouldn’t give a fuck about the preadator species’ infighting.
By “unnecessary” I mean unless you’re going to die without killing an animal, then you don’t need to kill animals (including supporting it by eating animal products). It’s really that simple.
It’s tiring hearing constant excuses from non-vegans. It’s always semantics and what-ifs, you never get anywhere with them. I just want to scream “put down the fucking hamburger and eat a vegetable ffs!” People really turn this into some nitpicking rocket science. For me? I just decided “fuck this” one day and guess what? I’m still alive.
If you go around yelling at people to put down the hamburger, people are gonna tell you to mind your own business. That’s why people think vegans are insufferable. The ones who don’t do this, you never know they’re vegans because they mind their own business. Really fucks with the numbers, so I’ll clarify and say that someone who makes it a point to steer a conversation to how they’re vegan is a yellow flag. Veganism itself is not at all a problem
I welcome a world in which factory farms are gone. The amount of actual cruelty needed to sustain our population and capitalist demand is insane and depressing, but we are nowhere near winning that fight with boycotting animal products, and we never will. It won’t make a difference. The improvement of substitute meat with systemic and legislative change will do that, and that’s what we need to push for
So yeah, I’m not offended because a vegan told me not to eat a hamburger. I’m annoyed because a vegan went out of their way to steer the conversation towards their own moral superiority
So I’ll apologize for having reacted so defensively, but I don’t think that eating meat and having empathy for animals is mutually exclusive. It sure just seemed to me like you were telling me that veganism should be a green flag for me, and it just really isn’t. It’s whatever. If I find out a person is a vegan, I’m not gonna be more attracted to them; I’ll just now know not to offer them a chicken nugget
Again, your feelings (or anyone’s) are not the point. The point is to stop killing animals.
I just don’t give a fuck how a person feels about me or vegans in general. Animals are being caged and/or tortured, then killed while we sit here pretending raising the issue is offensive.
People just can’t put down the burgers and hot dogs and think about anyone other than themselves. Then they act like vegans are crazy. Yeah, okay
Alright well my point is nobody asked you. Without massive legislative and systemic changes, and improvements on meat substitutes, you’ll never end factory farms. Not enough people will ever care to put down the hamburger, no matter how annoying you are about it, in order for a consumer’s wallet vote to make a difference in the industry. You can sit up there on your high horse, talking about how only vegans actually have empathy, while people roll their eyes at you fulfilling the stereotypes that discredit veganism. By all means, be a vegan. I fully support that. I even encourage it, but that is a lifestyle choice you make for yourself. I don’t believe the efforts of veganism are at all effective, and capitalism, horrendous though it is, has successfully alienated me from my food source that I am able to still have empathy and love for animals while consuming meat. The cow I eat was gonna die anyway
You’re not some moral paragon; You’re proving exactly why veganism is a yellow flag for me
There is a term in kendo called hikitate geiko. I won’t get too technical, but in essence, it is an attitude employed by a senior who spars with their junior that helps elevate their skills. It is more difficult than it appears, because if you make it too easy for them, they don’t improve, but if you make it too hard for someone, they won’t learn anything either; and at the same time, you yourself won’t benefit from the spar. By practicing good hikitate geiko, you are able to elevate your partner’s skills, but at the same time, refine and perfect your own technique.
I find that this attitude is beautiful in every aspect of life, and isn’t easy to accomplish; I think this is a huge green flag when someone does that well, regardless of the situation or context.
This. Someone who is willing to come down to my ignorant level in a subject and reward me for my tiny effort and interest in it, is an immediate win in my book. Though it is a hard line to cross without going into smirky/mansplaining territory.
For example, Veritasium videos are always fantastic, but I can’t get over how the man smirks when he explains concepts, despite the fact that it’s his natural smile.
I have a friend who teaches high school history and has traveled a lot. She’s great at this! I feel like i can talk to her about almost anything and she never makes me feel stupid.
Somewhat related… I work at a garden center and my manager is a professor of horticulture. When I transferred to her department, I thought I would be learning so much, but this woman has no passion for teaching and is cynical about everything. She sucks the life and fun out of work. Luckily I enjoy working with my other coworkers, and everybody likes me better than they do her.
This really sucks, but I’m glad the other people there weren’t dragged down by the manager and remained positive people to interact with.
Bit of an update… 3 out of 4 of us employed under her are planning to quit after the new year. We’re just finishing the holiday season because it’s a busy time and don’t want to bail when it’s all hands on deck right now.
The 4th person is only part-time and we haven’t told him yet about our plans, so he may join us once he finds out.
All of us are quitting because of the manager.
I’m glad you’re no longer putting up with her. Best of luck.
Empathy.
They are happy to see you!
They handle stress and disappointment well.
They don’t externalize their frustrations, and take responsibility for solving their own problems. They act like a functioning adult.
They have interests and hobbies that they are happy to do alone, or share.
Unfair - but they don’t have intense money, drug, social pressure in their life, a stable situation is the good grounds for relationships
bonus: If their parents are attractive, then they could be a good partner who ages gracefully with you
That bonus really looked like it was going somewhere else for a second there.
People who treat others who cannot benefit them well. For example, wait staff.
they read books
After 4 years of engineering I’m scared of books now…😂😂😂
Oh man. I wish i could read a book!
What’s keeping you?
I dunno…distractions, too much commitment, feels indulgent,… ? Just got a book for my birthday and read the first 100 pages aloud in the car because my husband and son wanted to hear it. Now it’s been on my coffee table for two weeks and I’m struggling to pick it back up.
It’s not really indulgent to take some time for yourself. Maybe your also missing the right book to get you interested. What kind of story are you interested in?
When i was younger (before kids) i read a lot - mostly Stephen King and classics and it’s still what i really like. Kids are grown, but i have a hard time saying, “I’m going to sit here for an hour and read.” There’s always something to do…bills, husband, animals, house, yard, etc. and when i veg I mostly turn to mindlessly browsing my phone because it’s 2 minute chunks that you can put down anytime. After 15 years of working at the same job i just found out that my lunch break is 60 minutes instead of 30 - maybe I’ll bring a book and try to use that time to read.
Thank you for the motivation
They are self-aware, willing to change and learn, and have a rational, logical view of things. It’s rare to meet people like that, but they are by far the best people. Someone’s philosophy on life is probably the best descriptor of a person.
They join banter in a comfortable way without using character assassination as an authority/persuasion grab.
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