I’ve posted here a lot about my mental health, I lost basically everything, I have no one I can talk to, my car is wrecked, I have less than 100 bucks in my bank account, while I have housing their are problems that make it not the best. I have 1k in debt.

In terms of my housing, I lived with some members a activist group for a bit, but they got too extreme the the point where they think me wanting to pay of my debt, save up for a car is individualist and me wanting to go college is carrierist.

Another thing is I’m an unattractive trans fem, que transphobia, I know y’all are gonna laugh like hell when I blow my brains out, some of y’all might be like THIS IS THE Consequences OF GENDER IDEOLOGY.

I just really don’t see a way forward at all, I felt like there isn’t much for me in this world anymore. Everytime I call a suicide hotline I get the dumbest most braindead advice like do an activity I enjoy as if that changes any of the material conditions of my life.

My plan is to have a dead switch, so when I do die 911 is called to help avoid any unnecessary trauma. It’s crazy to think 22 years ends like this.

  • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    0·
    3 months ago

    To be horribly blunt, attempted suicide by pills is a wonderful way to put yourself through feeling worse than you ever thought possible, a shit ton of throwing up, and then more feeling worse than you thought you could until you eventually survive anyway.

    And that’s if no one finds you in the long amount of time it would take, calls an ambulance, and you end up getting your stomach pumped and racking up more debt in medical bills while still feeling like shit, and now being placed on suicide watch.

    There are incredibly few fool proof ways to commit suicide. Even less that won’t cause you to suffer immensely the whole time until it’s over. The body instinctively wants to survive despite any of your personal feelings.

    As an aside, you should check out the mutual assistance community on lemmy. They may be able to assist you a bit financially to help you improve your situation.

    • skymtf@pricefield.orgOPEnglish
      0·
      3 months ago

      Generally my idea would be to take the pills than shoot myself afterwards, mainly the goal would be making me a hard case for paramedics, unable to figure out what to treat first.

      • Icalasari@fedia.io
        0·
        3 months ago

        Still not guaranteed, and then you’d likely go to your family to be cared for due to being deemed mentally unfit