We were in the same class and I thought she was pretty and started chatting with her and trying to … I don’t know, you know, get to know someone well enough to start a relationship with them. However you do that – I still do not know.

I was also going through a period of severe depression and a period of severe vodka-in-the-morning alcoholism to compensate. I was not at my best. I remember every time I talked to her, and she seemed pleasant enough and friendly enough the whole time. At some point she mentioned she had a boyfriend, ok, cool; so what is the move here? completely stop talking to her? continue talking in a normal way? I attempted the latter, a few weeks later I got an official letter from the school saying she was concerned about “unwanted in-person contact and indirect contact with [me], which she deems to be harassing in nature” and I needed to sign a thing to never talk to her again.

I have a few unresolved points I can’t get over:

  • How am I supposed to continue existing knowing this occurred? I was labelled god-knows-what, I mentally carry it around like a scarlet letter. Is this the intended effect?

  • How am I supposed to enter a healthy relationship at this point? Do I still deserve love? Are you sure?

  • I am sober now, I am going to therapy, and so on, i am no longer a threat to society, etc etc

  • How can someone do something so austere, not even send a simple polite text or even a mean text before going straight to the authorities like an rat?

  • How can I not continually hate myself forever?

  • Darkonion@kbin.social
    0·
    8 months ago

    When the person you are speaking to inserts ‘I have a boyfriend’ (or equal) into the conversation and it seems out of normal flow in any way I believe it does mean ‘please stop talking to me’ / ‘please stop spending attention on me’. I interpret it as them being uncomfortable for some reason as they have raised a defense. Best to just exit the conversation as politely and quickly as possible and move on.

    In isolation it doesn’t reflect on you at all, you can’t know their mind. If it happens over and over and over, you may wish to reflect on your approach. Therapy maybe, or have a trusted friend watch your interaction for comments.