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A seating chart for an “8 HOUR FLIGHT” with the text “PICK YOUR SEAT” at the top. The chart is composed of 10 numbered seats, each occupied by a different famous Republican politician or public figure, or the devil. Each number represents a seat, and each seat is either adjacent to or between one or two different individuals.
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7, just to kick Cruz the entire flight. Hate that douche.
There’s only one thing I’d be thinking about on a plane filled with that many fascists and oligarchs and it wouldn’t be where I was sitting.
9, I’d tell space lasers nutjob to stfu and who wouldn’t mind a nice handy, then I’d walk up to seat 2 and Mike Tyson the fool in the window seat.
NOBODY said 2?!
Obviously 2!
Someone tries to argue some point about the guy:
Actually, buddy, I met him and over the course of eight hours I learned ___________.
Maybe the learning is that he’ll lie to your face, seem very personable, is a Class A hoodwinker. Maybe it’s that he’s insufferable. Whichever, you get insight on how he treats normies he doesn’t need anything from. So you either understand more about how he deceives or more about how awful he is.
Wouldn’t ever help convince anyone of anything but should give some smug satisfaction how wrong somebody is when they walk away pretending you lost a political argument.
It would be fun to just tell him he’s a fucktard. I think that’s worth it. Also, make sure to cough and then put your hand on the shared armrest to declare dominance
1
I get to kick trumps seat and put shit in his hair all flight long. I’m not worried about Nick id just kick his ass.
Pretty sure the top is the front.
Gotta be three.
Sit behind him and kick his chair over and over again the entire duration of the flight. Every time he looks back, just shrug helplessly and point at the guy sitting next to you.
Three all the way. Satan and I can take turns kicking T****s seat and talking loudly.
- If I’m gonna get to tell people about this story, I’m not gonna settle for the 2nd best reason that your flight complaint doesn’t register on the scale I’ve dealt with. I’m going for the best. It can literally only go up from here.
And your in the aisle. He has to ask you to move to do anything!
Going 9. Robert and Green bickering would be fun to stoke. Plus I kinda think I could get along with Robert for the duration by annoying Ghram. I will also be leaning all the way back and throwing my trash behind me where it belongs
I like how your phone thinks Bobert is a typo.
4
Alex Jones is a piece of shit, but sitting next to him would be like listening to a long episode of Knowledge Fight. Also its an aisle seat.
But I imagine he’s probably really sweaty and hogs the arm rest and/or makes it greasy
Yes and you can probably hear him breathing heavily the whole time
10
Lindsey Graham is a piece of shit, but he’s an entertaining piece of shit. Not to mention, he’s like the yappy little Chihuahua that barks bloody murder at whoever the bigger dog he’s hiding behind doesn’t like – I’m pretty sure I could get him on side to shit-talk Thomas to his face for at least the last half of the flight.
The person sitting by number 3 would enjoy that.
9
As awful as they are I might as well get a good over the pants handy from bobert, something tells me she has snail I’m her though and will probably mash it, worth a shot
Time to invest in a glass knife I can get onto the plane.
#4. At least you could get Alex talking about lizard people and stuff.
4 because I’d love to see what that dude was like in an untelevised conversation.
I spent a significant portion of a train trip sick in the bathroom once and I think I’d just repeat that…
EDIT: You think I could manage to get a handy if I pick 9?
Safer to DIY
